Ponderings of a Thunderstorm

     As I gaze out my window, I see lightning flashes lighting up the sky and hear the constant roar of thunder as if some creature above was angry. The accompanying rain only perpetuates the storm raging in my mind. My thoughts are quite turbulent and as the storm rages outside, I shall write about the storm within.

     Often I come up with these ideas for stories and immediately I become excited to start writing. For reasons unbeknownst to me, I don't start writing but the excitement is still there. When I finally convince myself to start working, I can continuously work for hours at a time but I can get easily distracted by such trivial things as that fly on my wall- who perhaps is an actual person who wished to be a 'fly on my wall' but I cannot imagine why- I was told my room was a disaster.

     Instead of launching into a meandering monologue, which would serve no purpose other than to instill boredom in my readers, I'll just get to the point. I often lack the motivation to ensure my ideas bear fruition. Wanting to be a writer sounds nice on paper but there is a certain a bit of realism that comes with being a writer that one must face. Not everyone can write literature that would be deemed worthy of comparison to something written by Charles Dickens or Emily Brontë. Not everyone can write novels that would be appealing to the masses such as anything written by J.K. Rowling. Lastly, not everyone will notice you. It is a lengthy process to get a book published. It must be edited professionally, an agent is usually acquired as most publishers refuse to accept unsolicited manuscripts, it must be marketed well (it's a misconception that the publisher will do all the marketing) and people must love it enough to buy it. There are people at every step, people who could choose not to notice you and often that is what happens. I do not know if I have the talent to write something that could be published someday. It's that nagging doubt that steals my motivation away. 

     There's always at least two people in the world that will admire something within you. Anything. Maybe it's your sense of morality or your style of writing. Every person has a personality; every person has a talent. But for the second person to notice you, you must notice yourself. If you do not believe in yourself, then you will not progress far and no one will notice. I may not always have motivation, I may even doubt myself at times but I do notice what I have. I believe I have talent even if I don't know that, but it is this belief that keeps me going even when my motivation disappears. Never give up and believe in yourself but believe within reason. For better or for worse- at the end of the day that's all you have left to hold on to. 

     The storm has briefly stopped but it is still the 'calm before the storm', to coin a phrase- for the sky is starting to rumble yet again. The storm within has died off. Writing has set my thoughts in order, provided an outlet for the uneasy thoughts floating around in my mind. Another flash of lightning- the storm continues.

-Mango